


Don't I Deserve Love

by ilyena_sylph, Merfilly



Series: Get Out of the Fridge [11]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Curses, Emotional Hurt, Emotionally Repressed, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2016-10-20
Packaged: 2018-08-23 13:58:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8330446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilyena_sylph/pseuds/ilyena_sylph, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merfilly/pseuds/Merfilly
Summary: Cody is alive. Kix is found. And Padmé discovers the main reason Obi-Wan is the way he is.





	

Commander Cody marched his troops off in perfect order. He was keeping himself together on a slender thread of hope.

There had been no body. That treacherous thought was keeping him from completely losing all sense of who he was.

His troops moved into rank and file, and he turned his attention to the pair of officers coming at him. There was a distinct pain in his head as the figure in browns and blacks solidified into the form of a Jedi, General Skywalker… a reminder of the man Cody had tried to kill. There was a recognition protocol. Skywalker was not a target, not like Kenobi had been.

He couldn't be dead. The General didn't die easily. There had been no body.

It was easier to focus on Rex, trying to escape the twisting, gnawing pain inside his soul. Rex was wearing tactical blacks; so were most of the men working in sight. Cody stared straight ahead as the General took the forward position, Rex off his shoulder. 

"Commander, first order of business here on Dantooine is a med-check," Anakin said, setting the tone. He didn't need to look to know Rex was struggling with his emotions. On the one hand, Cody had made it to them. On the other, the reaction to him more than told him that Cody was still compromised.

"Sir, yes sir," Cody said.

+++

Kix blinked as he came fully awake… and there was a very orange face with white markings taking up his field of vision.

"You in there, Kix?"

"Commander… the kriff even is going on? Last I recall, there were some nasty Seppies with me in custody."

"All taken care of, Kix. Taking you home," she promised, smiling brightly. "Because Kix, we need you, something fierce. You ready to jump back in feet first?"

"Am I Torrent Company, Sir?" A flicker of memory came back, and he pushed against it, raising a swell of alarm. "Commander, Tup… it wasn't a tumor!"

"We know, Kix. It's why I need you so badly," Ahsoka told him, sitting back which let him see she was perched on his med bed in … the _Twilight_? Definitely the General's ship. "I need you to take care of our boys, help them through what happened."

"It went live?" Kix asked in horror. She nodded once, and he shuddered, head to toe. The next moment, he was being held, as his low litany of cursing mixed with angry tears at failing his brothers.

+++

Padmé closed the door behind herself, letting out a deep sigh to be out of the public eye. Garm had caught her as she was leaving the Senate, pledging Corellian resources to cleaning up the residual corruption, but it had barely cooled her temper from insinuations that she, that Naboo, was trying to yet again capitalize on scandal to keep the reins of power.

"You are an absolute storm, Senator," Obi-Wan said softly, flicking a hand to close the door to the nursery.

"Don't. Just… why can't you always use my name? You are family. You need to accept that, Obi-Wan, because it is what Anakin needs. And don't tell me that doesn't matter to you!"

The Jedi had to stare at her a very long moment, as all of her words hit truths, but with the emotional rawness of a being who had been pushed way too far.

Padmé watched him, knowing he was in pain, but not certain how to help him except by confronting it, and she took a few steps closer to him, her eyes locked on his face. 

"Padmé." He was getting better about calling her that, but… even in the weeks of being the protector of her children, he had not learned to relax. "Anakin is very much at the core of my focus. Especially as there has been no confirmed contact with the ships that carried our younglings away, meaning the Order is… extinct, save a few relics like myself and my masters.

"But if I stand on formality, it is not so much for a lack of respect or acceptance of where you stand in Anakin's life, so much as an attempt to hold onto the last vestiges of sanity this upside-down world has for me."

She tipped her head at him, still watching closely, wanting to help... and wondering how he could be so oblivious to what she was saying. But... he was so deeply wounded... should she really push the issue right now? "You are not a relic, Obi-Wan. You are still badly needed, by so many. And it's not my place in Anakin's life I think you're avoiding... it's your own." 

Obi-Wan looked away from her, then at the nursery's closed door. "I want to make a training bond with him, a new one, or reinforce the old one. Whatever it takes for us… he and I… to keep honesty, and learn, adapt, as we need to." He brought his eyes back to Padmé. "I will guard him from a new Fall; I will protect his family. Beyond that… I do not have any place."

"You're wrong about that," Padmé told him, shaking her head. "He loves you, Obi-Wan. Even in the worst moments, when he was most twisted up by that damned man's lies, he still loved you, and I know he does now!" 

Obi-Wan flinched violently at that idea, even as he knew that she was speaking truth. "Padmé, this is an unnecessary distraction from your true temper," he reasoned, desperate for her to drop it. "Your anger at your day is no reason to dredge up uncertainties."

Padmé crossed the last steps between them, shaking her head as she reached to lay her fingers on the arms crossed over his chest, looking into his eyes. "Yes, I'm very angry with certain people in the Senate, and that probably _is_ encouraging me to grab this particular problem by the throat. Which has nothing to do with that I'm concerned for you -- and frankly, I would much rather think about you than those scandal-addicted self-important hubristic _morons_."

"Politicians, in other words," he said, with his defensive dry wit. "With precious few exceptions, present company among them." He tried very hard not to physically step back from her touch. "I am perfectly fine, Padmé. I just haven't found the right path forward yet."

"I don't think anyone has," Padmé answered that, his voice soft. "And you are not fine. _I'm_ not fine with everyone we lost, with how we were betrayed, with what was done to my husband, or what we now have to deal with and clean up -- and they were only my friends. 

"They were, as far as I can tell, the closest people you had to a family. Your entire way of life has been irrevocably changed, utterly tragically... you can't be okay -- or if you are, I am _actively terrified_ of you." 

Obi-Wan brought his hands together in the folds of his robe. "I am a Jedi. It is our way to give the negative into the Force, and move forward."

"Oh -- for the love of the Force... my _astromech_ has a better grasp on emotions than you do!" Padmé threw up her hands and took a step back before she did something as stupid as try to physically shake a Jedi. 

Obi-Wan dropped his eyes, then he looked back up to the woman that had sheltered him ever since her return. "They all died, Padmé. Every single one that I let myself love." His words were soft, didn't really explain… but maybe, maybe she would understand.

Padmé moved back to him, looking at the agony on his face. "That's not your fault, Obi-Wan. And our Anakin is alive. So is your Cody." 

"I prefer Anakin focus on you, Padmé, to protect him. As for Cody -- " Anguish stroked familiar flames around his soul just thinking about the man. "We don't know for certain he will come through the process. You've seen the reports on the suicide rate."

He wanted, more than anything, to be at his Commander's side, but Dantooine was interdicted for all Jedi until every clone trooper had been accounted for, except Anakin.

"You can prefer all you want," Padmé told him softly, "but that won't stop Anakin from loving you... or from his doing everything he can for Cody." 

She might not have the Force, but she had faith, and she didn't believe Anakin, or Rex, would let Cody kill himself now. Getting the word that the 212th was securely on Dantooine had been one of the best bits of news she'd had. How deep things ran with Obi-Wan and Cody, she wasn't certain, but she knew they needed each other, had relied on each other... and he had just confirmed it.

Obi-Wan drew in a deep breath. "Of course he will." He couldn't stop the way his fingers flicked on one another inside the sleeves of his robe. "I should probably start a meal for you," he said, his honesty about the situation overwhelming his ability to cope, and seeking his escape.

"If you want," Padmé said softly, before she wrapped her arms around him. "I care about you too, you know," she told him, and then let go. 

"Don't," Obi-Wan whispered softly, before making his escape.


End file.
